Being a mum was what I had always wanted. However, there came a point in my life, a few years ago, where I allowed myself to take a look around and be honest with myself about what I saw. There was no playfulness, very little laughter and a distinct absence of fun in my life. I had become serious and pretty sombre almost all of the time.
How did I get here? Was it my too-high expectations leading to continuous disappointment? Was it my perfectionist attitude being disappointed with anything less than the unattainable perfection from myself and others around me?
Regardless of what the cause or causes may have been, I made the conscious decision to re-introduce fun and laughter into my life. Regularly.
Have you forgotten fun lately? Think back to who you were before you were married. Before you had the responsibilities you have now.
What were five things you would do for fun?
It doesn’t take me long to remember that I would:
- meet the girls for coffee, a drink, dinner or chats
- spend a couple of hours in a coffee shop or the silence of a library with a good book
- go for a run listening to my favourite songs
- browse the shops and plan a cute outfit
- take a Zumba class and dance my socks off, laughing at not being able to do some of the moves or even keep up sometimes
Somewhere along the way I began to take myself and life too seriously. Don’t get me wrong… I understand this life is serious business. Our purpose is to live a life worthy of Heaven. Our purpose is to be a saint. Saying yes to God, daily, is serious business. There is little point in our lives being full of fun if we are not saying yes to God. That, I understand.
But I was lacking the necessary balance to be able to persevere in the serious business of life because I had a distinct lack of fun and lightness in my life. Without fun, I grew weary and often felt dejected and discouraged.
Saint Philip Neri wisely states: “Cheerfulness strengthens the heart and makes us persevere in a good life. Therefore the servant of God ought always be in good spirits.”
When I neglected fun and playfulness, I was not cheerful. I was not ‘in good spirits’. I was miserable. I was too serious. And so was the tone in my home a lot of the time.
Making time for fun - and dedicating that fun time to God - was one of the things that changed the tone in my home. Deo Gratias!
With laughter back in my life I am better equipped to be the playful, accepting, curious and empathic person, mother and wife I had always wanted to be. The pius Padre Pio tells us to “serve the Lord with laughter”. And I can attest to the importance of laughter and cheerfulness in improving how I serve our Heavenly Father.
Without balancing the responsibilities and inevitable hardships of life with appropriate fun, laughter, playfulness and joy, we risk becoming unable to persevere in those trials. Furthermore, how are we to attract others to God if we are miserable in our own demeanour?
“The soul of the one who serves God always swims in joy, always keeps holiday, and is always in the mood for singing”
- Saint John of the Cross
What does fun look like for you? Where can you inject some fun or playfulness into your day?
Dancing around the kitchen with your kids? Randomly playing a board-game in the evening with your spouse? Inventing a game to make daily chores more enjoyable? Taking up an arts or crafts class you would enjoy? A phone call with a friend who always lifts your spirits? Starting an online course? Learning a new skill and laughing at yourself along the way? Buying a pair of roller blades? Making a puzzle? Watching some clean comedy? A girl’s night away with your friend or sister so you come back to your obligations more refreshed?
A playful attitude makes the mundane a little bit more magical, a little bit more manageable.
In the book Fire Within, authored by Father Thomas Dubay, Saints John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila speak of finding delight in everything, but clinging to nothing. They speak of loving others dearly, enjoying music and the stars and nature but to remember that they are nothing but pure mirrors of the divine.
And so it should be with our recreation and the fun in our lives. It ought to be directed to God. A cause for delight. Not our sole focus but a manner in which we can better serve and fuel ourselves to persevere in our true soul focus. We are not pursuing frivolous fun apart from God or for its own sake. We are doing so with honest direction toward God who is our sole end and purpose.
“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatsoever else you do, do all to the glory of God”
- Saint Paul (Corinthians 10:31)
If you would like to be notified of posts as they are released you can subscribe here.
I feel it’s God’s will for me to have fun. But I agree with you that I loose sight of this. Here are some things I’d like to do for fun: sing in the shower, play the guitar more, take a dance class with my husband
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder!
DeleteI agree. And I love your list of things you’d like to do for fun! I hope you enjoy them and that they replenish you :) And @Charlotte, thank you for the fun and laughs you bring into my life :)
Delete