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My father, God rest his soul, was a deep thinker. The truth mattered to him. One of the things he did, though, that sometimes irritated me was his repetition of stories. One in particular he must have told me dozens of times; and I overheard him tell others dozens more. Little did either of us know what a pivotal part the centrepiece of this story would play in his death… Read more
ARE YOU FEELING DEPLETED OR RESENTFUL?
Is there order or chaos in your life? Our world was created in a perfectly ordered manner. We can read an account of this in Genesis. Any change that is introduced into the order of God’s design, then, is felt with a mirrored level of chaos. A slight lack of order produces slight chaos. An absolute abandonment of order creates utter and complete chaos. We do not need to look around our society for very long to see this play out. What about in our lives and in our own homes… Read more

DOING NOTHING IS DOING SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT
In my life I struggle to rest. Keeping busy? That, I can do. Doing something? No problem. Resting? Staying still? Relaxing without doing something while relaxing, whether it’s crocheting or reading or listening to something? That does not come so easy to me. In fact, I would say it was so uncomfortable for me that it felt like there was something wrong: with me, with resting; I wasn’t sure. But it felt intolerable… Read more

SELF-CARE: ISN’T THAT SELFISH?
Are you responsible for taking care of others? Do you usually put other people’s needs ahead of your own? Do you feel selfish when you have needs or desires of your own? Do you feel like taking time for YOU is wrong? Have you learned that the right thing to do, the Catholic thing to do, is to deny your needs in favour of the desires of others? Are you wondering why continuously doing so is leaving you feeling… Read more

THE PERFECT MOTHER
What is the perfect mother? Perhaps you are a mother, or would like to be one. In that case I bet, without spending much time thinking about it, you have a very particular vision of what the perfect mother is to you?… Read more

I met my husband in February 2013, married in October 2014 and became pregnant in February 2015. My dreams had come true! It was such an exciting time. Planning, preparing, dreaming, imagining. My mind was as pregnant with expectations as my body was with our first child… Read more

What is good and right in your life? When we are feeling overwhelmed, overburdened and that life is hard, it can feel too much to even try to find things to be grateful for. It can feel like yet another thing we’re failing at. We know we have much to be grateful for and… Read more

As I write this, it is the feast of Saint Francis of Assisi, a saint celebrated for his happiness. It can be easy to allow ourselves to be deceived or misled as Catholics…to think that we ought not seek to be happy in this world. We are called to suffer and carry our cross. We are not, however, called to be miserable in our suffering. Read more

So you’ve reached a point in your life where you’re ready for change; where you see that life, and how you feel about it, isn’t working out so well and you’re ready for change. Then what? How do you get from where you are to where you want to be?
Well, it would help to know… Read more

For a large portion of my life I considered being a perfectionist a positive thing. It meant I strive for excellence in all I do, right? If you’re going to do something, do it right. What it took me decades to see was that this desire for and expectation of perfection kept me... Read more

So, now that we’re aware that we not only can partake in self-care but have a responsibility to take care of ourselves, how do we do it? Have you ever had a day where you know you’d be better downing tools and taking a breather but you just don’t even have the presence of mind to navigate how to do that? I hear you! For that very reason I have put together a menu of self-care options… Read more

Have you ever approached your child angrily and seen fear in their eyes? Have you felt fury or rage towards your own children that you never thought you could? Do you hear yourself barking orders in a tone that makes you shudder? Do you see yourself behave towards your children in ways you told yourself you never would? Are the expectations you have held of motherhood slipping away before your eyes? Do you feel shame and guilt over this? But also perhaps have no idea what’s wrong or how to change? Do you want this to change?… Read more

Once our eyes have been opened to behaviour we want to change, what is it that we need to focus on to maintain and sustain that change? How do we prevent ourselves from slipping back into old patterns?… Read More

Hindsight can be a beautiful gift. It is a gift that helps me to remember what really matters on a daily basis. It allows me to learn from my past and to remain focused on the present. It reminds me to consistently check in regarding whether or not I am taking on more than is mine to take on… Read more

What do you want? A simple question, perhaps… but not one that may be all that easy to answer. Do you know what you want? I am not asking if you know how to go about getting what you want; but rather if you know what it is your heart desires? 
It is very easy for me to have a fleeting idea of what I may want and then quickly depart to “but we don’t have the time for that now” or “but that is far too expensive” or “we have small kids so that’s just not a possibility for us” or “with work and family commitments that isn’t doable” or hundreds of other logical reasons as to why my desire cannot be fulfilled. And that is where I used to stop. Allowing my desires to be limited by… Read more

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Vision Board

What do you want? A simple question, perhaps… but not one that may be all that easy to answer. Do you know what you want? I am not asking if you know how to go about getting what you want; but rather if you know what it is your heart desires? It is very easy for me to have a fleeting idea of what I may want and then quickly depart to “but we don’t have the time for that now” or “but that is far too expensive” or “we have small kids so that’s just not a possibility for us” or “with work and family commitments that isn’t doable” or hundreds of other logical reasons as to why my desire cannot be fulfilled.  And that is where I used to stop. Allowing my desires to be limited by the bounds of my own imagination. Quenching those desires before they had a chance to see the light of day. There was also a deeply ingrained perception I seemed to have that it was selfish to have desires. It took a lot of practice to get in touch with what I truly want. Honestly, it still takes effort. Even w...
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Resentment is a Signpost

Do you get angry or resentful if you see your husband relaxing on the couch when there’s so much to do? Do you begrudge him having time outside the home, away from the kids? Do you sometimes feel like he has it so much easier than you do? Four years ago I found myself seething while vacuuming under my husband’s feet. It was 8.45pm and I was seven months pregnant with our third child.  There he was, the man I fell head-over-heels in love with seven years before, resting on the couch…and I was still going. Still working. Still trying to get everything done.  ‘ How could he rest?! Doesn’t he see me? ’ I thought. ‘ How can he think that it is okay to just sit there when he knows I find walking painful at this stage of pregnancy, never-mind vacuuming? Clearly he doesn’t love me or care about me ’, I confirmed.  I dreamed of my husband saying ‘ let me do that…sit down, love. You deserve to rest…you’ve done enough ’. But the permission to rest never came. USING RESENTMENT AS A S...
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Remember ‘FUN’?

I had always imagined being a fun-loving and happy mother.  Being a mum was what I had always wanted. However, there came a point in my life, a few years ago, where I allowed myself to take a look around and be honest with myself about what I saw. There was no playfulness, very little laughter and a distinct absence of fun in my life. I had become serious and pretty sombre almost all of the time. How did I get here? Was it my too-high expectations leading to continuous disappointment? Was it my perfectionist attitude being disappointed with anything less than the unattainable perfection from myself and others around me? Regardless of what the cause or causes may have been, I made the conscious decision to re-introduce fun and laughter into my life. Regularly. Have you forgotten fun lately? Think back to who you were before you were married. Before you had the responsibilities you have now.  What were five things you would do for fun? It doesn’t take me long to remem...
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